If you struggle with anxiety and you also watch porn, have you seriously considered that pornography use could be contributing to the problem?
In a recent National Library of Medicine article researchers state: “findings show that stress, anxiety, and depression are strongly related to pornography consumption and conflicting emotional experiences.”
Celebrities like Billie Eilish and others clearly state porn use harmed their mental health. In addition, personal stories from our Ever Accountable community agree with Eilish.
As a society we’re clearly struggling with mental health issues as well as excessive porn consumption.
For example, Statista reports one major porn site alone had 3 billion visits in January of 2024.
So, is porn like a secret bad bacteria infecting our mental health?
In this article we’ll explore two overlapping, related questions.
Does porn cause anxiety or depression? Why is porn bad for your mental health overall?
Then we’ll offer motivation and proven steps to break free porn and enjoy a richer, worthwhile life.
Does Using Porn Cause Anxiety?
Porn use fuels anxiety in your life in a variety of ways. One sneaky culprit is the comparison trap.
Without realizing it, porn may cause you to inwardly compare yourself to an air-brushed porn actor. What a toxic false standard this sets for yourself and others! After all, porn videos are highly edited and promote seriously fake ideas about sex.
“Pornography altered my view of normal and my perspective of how I viewed women. ” – Cole
Here are some core ways porn causes anxiety by creating these negative feedback loops in your mind:
- Feeds negative body image/ body dysmorphia and eating disorders
- Creates fear of being discovered using porn by a spouse, co-worker, or other family member
- Fuels performance anxiety in the bedroom due to porn-induced erectile dysfunction
- Promotes social anxiety as porn isolates you on a regular basis, often affecting how you view and interact with others
- Wires your emotions to a screen actor instead of a real person creating intimacy anorexia
- Promotes second-hand trauma due to watching someone be abused on screen
- Encourages dark thoughts or even suicidal ideations linked to compulsive sexual behavior
- Overspending on a compulsive porn habit can create financial anxiety
Dr. Gail Dines, founder of Culture Reframed and dedicated researcher, says porn hijacks mental health and is a public health harm
“As the evidence on the harms of pornography piles up, it has become clear that we can no longer sit back and allow the porn industry to hijack the sexual and emotional well-being of our culture.”
First, let’s define mental health and why this matters.
What is mental health?
“Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act.
It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices.” – MentalHealth.gov
Risk factors for poor mental health
Some contributing factors to struggles with mental health include:
- Family history of mental health problems or addictions
- Traumatic or abusive life experiences
- Brain chemistry imbalances or genetic disorders
Brain chemistry, physical health, and mental health are all linked. When one part of you suffers, so does the rest of you.
Since good mental health is so important, here are some warning signs of mental health challenges.
Common signs of poor mental health
You may need professional help if you’re experiencing any of these mental health symptoms, according to the Mayo Clinic:
- Marked changes in personality, eating or sleeping patterns
- An inability to cope with problems or daily activities
- Feeling of disconnection or withdrawal from normal activities
- Unusual or “magical” thinking
- Excessive anxiety
- Prolonged sadness, depression, or apathy
- Thoughts or statements about suicide or harming others
- Substance misuse
- Extreme mood swings
- Excessive anger, hostility, or violent behavior
People who regularly watch porn often report some of these symptoms regularly, like Cole:
“I didn’t want to spend hours in my room alone.
I didn’t want to take my own life, because I didn’t know how to fix myself.
I was scared of myself, alone with my thoughts, and terrified of what my loved ones would think of me if I asked them for help.”
That’s why it’s so important to answer this question: is porn bad for your mental health?
3 Ways Porn Is Bad For Your Mental Health
1. Research links porn use and depression.
Some researchers say that porn use causes depression mainly if you have religious or moral qualms about using porn.
In other words, because your behavior doesn’t match your beliefs, you experience guilt and shame.
However, the late Gary Wilson, author of Your Brain on Porn, noted that, “Research lags behind reality…Academic research is painstakingly slow and narrow, and even slower to self-correct… By the time a study is released, its findings are rapidly becoming obsolete.”
For example, Wilson also says, “Porn users are given little reason to suspect that porn can cause their symptoms. …
Today’s porn users are regularly diagnosed with and prescribed treatment for social anxiety, low self esteem, concentration problems, lack of motivation, depression, and other conditions.
They can even be told that their problem is definitely “performance anxiety” when they are unable to achieve an erection or climax on their own without porn.”
Some mental health and sex addiction therapists link porn use and depression.
Today there’s a growing understanding of how porn use affects brain chemistry. Compulsive porn use can deplete the brain of dopamine – a chemical messenger tied to the brain’s pleasure center.
Dopamine depletion and other chemical imbalances in the brain are commonly linked to depression.
What does the porn and depression cycle look like?
Porn use and depression often feed off of each other in a vicious cycle. Here’s what this may look like:
Using porn to numb your feelings of anxiety and shame
Isolating from friends and family due to compulsive porn use
Hiding or lying repeatedly about pornography use which creates anxiety and shame
Feeling more shame and depression because you can’t seem to quit turning to porn
2. Porn breeds isolation and loneliness.
Massive amounts of porn are being accessed on smartphones, data shows.
So, it’s not surprising that porn use contributes to the loneliness epidemic.
Technology use is cited as a leading factor in our loneliness epidemic with 29% of people aged 30-44 expressing that they were frequently or always lonely, according to Harvard.
In addition, “81% of lonely adults reported anxiety or depression…and 60% of those who felt lonely reported, ‘My insecurity or my mental health gets in the way of connecting with people’.” ~ Loneliness: Brief Report 2024
Porn becomes a counterfeit friend, acting as both an unhealthy numbing agent and a cause of loneliness.
3. Porn use damages your self-image and your respect for others
We’ve already mentioned a few ways porn harms your self-respect including body dysmorphia, intimacy anorexia, and erectile dysfunction.
Porn also harms your mental health by stealing your personal honesty and integrity.
“Occasions became cycles, which became habits, which became a life of duplicity.
There were several close calls where my wife almost found out, and the cycle of shame and fear crept in.” ~ Jonathan’s story
Being “under the influence of porn” distorts the real you and causes you to behave and think in ways that don’t reflect the person you really want to be.
Dr. Andrew Bauman labels this a pornified style of relating to others.
Here’s a small self-check list of relationship red flags:
- Do I regularly lie about or hide my porn use from my partner?
- Do I hide the amount of money I spend on porn?
- Am I emotionally cheating on my partner?
- Do I ask for aggressive sexual favors that my spouse dislikes?
- Do I struggle to make eye contact with women/men?
- Do I find myself looking at people as objects to be used?
Unfortunately, porn use may encourage sexual abuse and intimate partner violence, because sexual violence is a common theme in pornography.
How does porn impact mental health in teens and children?
For those who begin consuming porn as a teen or earlier, plenty of studies show links to mental health issues and porn.
“Regarding the effect of porn use on minors, a review of 19 studies published between 2013 and 2018 found an association between online porn use and earlier sexual debut, engaging with occasional and/or multiple partners, emulating risky sexual behaviours, assimilating distorted gender roles, dysfunctional body perception, aggression, anxiety, depression, and compulsive porn use.
Another study has shown that compulsive use of sexually explicit internet material by adolescent boys is more likely in those with lower self-esteem, depressive feeling and excessive sexual interest.” — Mike Kirby, Trends In Urology and Men’s Health
Dr. Trish Leigh, a cognitive neuroscientist, also notes the effects of porn use on children:
“We know when someone develops a porn habit early, usually in late childhood or adolescence, it delays development of the brain, especially development of the frontal lobe.
…That means your frontal lobe doesn’t learn how to socialize in the way that it would if you hadn’t consumed pornography.”
Now, more than ever if you’re a parent, it’s important to talk to your kids about pornography.
Is porn bad for your spouse’s mental health?
Any activity that damages trust in relationships also affects the mental health of both people involved.
“Use of pornography by one partner leads the couple to have far less sex and ultimately reduces relationship satisfaction…We are led to unconditionally conclude that for many reasons, pornography poses a serious threat to couple intimacy and relationship harmony.” – an open letter by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, clinical psychologists, The Gottman Institute
Not only is intimacy and relationship harmony damaged, partners also report feelings of betrayal, loss of self-esteem, and increased anxiety when they discover a partner’s secret porn habit.
Dr. Jill Manning, licensed marital and family therapist, notes that betrayal trauma is “associated with more physical illness, anxiety, dissociation and depression than traumas low in betrayal”.
3 Reasons Quitting Porn Will Benefit Your Mental Health
Using porn is clearly not a healthy solution to soothe stress and anxiety.
Instead consider quitting porn to improve your mental health and focus on becoming who you really want to be.
1. Free up your time and mental energy by quitting porn.
Whenever you remove toxins, the environment around you naturally improves. You begin to think more clearly.
You also get time back that you used to spend watching porn to invest in your goals.
“I was really surprised how much productivity you lose when you’re trapped in that cycle of watching porn. You say you’re so busy, but then you spend hours looking and covering your tracks. ” – Mitchell M
Another Ever Accountable community member says:
“I stopped looking at porn and you can’t imagine how happy I felt! I noticed for the first time in years how beautiful the sky and the mountains near my house are. My ambition to do hard things and go to college surged.
I hadn’t realized what a huge damper pornography had put on me but once it was gone I knew I had to do whatever it took to protect myself so I’d never go back…”
We’d encourage you NOT to just take our word for it. Investigate for yourself.
2. Quitting porn helps improve your relationships.
Partners of porn users often speak up about their hurt and betrayal online. Porn use cheats both partners of real intimacy and connection.
“I had no idea the harm I was doing by choosing porn over my wife. It broke our trust, yes, but it actually hurt her…. It took years to rebuild trust.” ~ Jonathan
Quitting porn for good helps you rebuild trust with your spouse over time.
And, after going through the recovery process, many find their libido returns, and they’re able to enjoy real sex with their spouses again.
Rebuilding your relationship with your spouse improves life for everyone who is affected by yours.
In the words of a grateful wife in our community:
“My husband has stayed..away from pornography for several months now, and as he puts it, the desire to look at pornography is gone.
He has become a changed person. I can see and witness the physical change in him — the light in his eyes and in his countenance — and the change that has come over our whole family because of it.
I finally have the guy I knew was in there somewhere…”
When Cole quit porn, he discovered his mental health improved greatly, spilling over into his friendships!
My friends started complimenting me on how they noticed that I’ve been happier lately, and that there is a much better “light” around me. – Cole
3. Quitting porn improves your self-respect and how you view others.
Both those viewing and those producing porn like former porn star Joshua Broome say that porn damaged their self-esteem and self-respect.
Cutting porn out changes the way you think over time!
Rachael says,” Now the images that used to give me brain fog are starting to fade…My self-esteem has gone up!
It’s really exciting to have mind space to be able to do other things!
Now I think about people and life in a different way, rather than just through the lens of lust.”
Bruce says, “It has been over two years since I have viewed porn, and I am very proud of that! Now I have a feeling of self respect.”
What do you have to lose by quitting porn?
You may have lost so much already. Relationship losses and regrets pile up. The years go by.
You’re not alone! Others express genuine losses due to porn. A short list includes damaged relationships due to the isolation, mental health issues, self-loathing, and loneliness of compulsive porn use.
The time for action is now. The longer you stay stuck, the harder it is to feel hope that you can improve.
Steps Forward: How to Recover from Porn
We have legitimate reasons to offer you hope for real healing from the mental health effects of porn!
Our first reason is based on neuroscience.
Where do you begin?
First, learn how porn affects your brain.
Currently, your “brain on porn” may be wired to numb anxiety and depression with porn. Hebb’s rule: “neurons that fire together, wire together” holds true.
As Rachael told us, “I think that people forget that porn really reprograms your mind.”
The good news? Neuroscientists have proven that the brain is capable of rewiring due to its amazing neuroplasticity.
In a recent podcast, neuroscientist Dr. Caroline Leaf talks about 5 Steps To Rewire Your Neurology.
Dr. Leaf says forming a new habit – based on scientific research – normally takes at least 60 days.
(Want to listen to Dr. Leaf? Episode 46 • 12th August 2020 • Be Well By Kelly • Kelly Leveque)
If you could experience real change in 60 days, why wait to take the first step toward hope and health?
Next, prepare yourself for the process of quitting porn.
The process of quitting porn may involve withdrawal symptoms similar to chemical addictions.
Knowing these symptoms are normal and part of a healing process helps you power through when things get tough.
Find positive support and get accountable.
“I found that with depression, one of the most important things you could realize is that you’re not alone.” — Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson
Though every person’s journey will look different, here are some proven success tips to quit porn that others have used.
- Plug into a porn recovery support community online or in-person to break isolation.
- Educate yourself on the process of quitting porn.
- Ask an accountability partner to help you reach your goals.
- Get tools to help make changes easier and more reliable, such as accountability software.
- Be fully committed to the journey.
Get professional help if possible.
When you’ve struggled with anxiety and porn use for a long time, there are many layers of healing to uncover first.
Professional therapists specifically trained in sexual addiction and trauma help you recover and rebuild your mental health much more quickly than is possible on your own.
As one wife of a former porn addict notes, it’s important to find a therapist who takes porn addiction seriously as well as mental health.
Look for those who have AASAT, CSAT, or CMAT certifications.
Your life can BE so much more than a constant struggle with porn and mental health!
Focus on the possibilities and celebrate each win.
You may not realize — until you start experiencing a life free of porn — is how much porn has bound and gagged your mental health.
Here’s the truth!
You’ll never know for certain how good life could be, unless you give porn-free living a real chance.
It’s especially true if you’ve been hooked by porn for a while.
Be honest with yourself.
What do you have to lose?
What if you conduct a porn-free experiment on yourself?
- Challenge yourself to get rid of porn for 30 days, 60 days, or even six months.
- Start with small goals first — like one week porn-free.
- Pay attention to your porn triggers. Use our porn triggers quiz to help you identify these.
- Tell your accountability partner your goals.
- Write down even small, positive changes.
- Celebrate each win with your accountability partner!
Did you know that 95% of people who choose to use our accountability software see an immediate and drastic reduction in porn use? And 63% say their porn use drops to zero!
This could be YOU if you get started today. With our 14-day free trial you have nothing to lose.
In a real way, you’ve already lost part of yourself if you’ve struggled with porn and mental health for years.
Along the road to freedom from porn, it’s beautiful to rediscover who you were meant to be. Don’t wait another day to get started!
“You are relearning
who you are
on your own.
Breathe.
Even rediscoveries
take patience
and time.”
– l.e. bowman
Works Cited
*Ever Accountable’s blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or therapy, though we often link to medically reviewed studies.
Sage Journals, https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2156869317728373?journalCode=smha.
Camilleri, Christina et al. “Compulsive Internet Pornography Use and Mental Health: A Cross-Sectional Study in a Sample of University Students in the United States.” Frontiers in psychology vol. 11 613244. 12 Jan. 2021, doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2020.613244
Ahlgrim, Callie. “Billie Eilish Began Watching Porn at 11, Says It Damaged Mental Health.” Insider, 14 December 2021, https://www.insider.com/billie-eilish-porn-affected-sex-life-mental-health-interview-2021-12. Accessed 4 May 2022.
Gottman, Julie. “Is Pornography Destroying Your Marriage?” Verywell Mind, 6 November 2020, https://www.verywellmind.com/is-pornography-destroying-your-marriage-2302509. Accessed 5 May 2022.
The Gottman Institute. https://www.gottman.com/blog/an-open-letter-on-porn/.
Gregoire, Sheila. “How Betrayal Trauma Therapy Can Help Wives of Porn Addicts.” https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com, 2019, https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/?s=betrayal+trauma.
Kirby, Mike. “Pornography and its impact on the sexual health of men.” Trends in Urology & Men’s Health, 2021. Wiley Clinical Healthcare Hub, https://wchh.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/tre.791. Accessed April 2022.
“Mental health: What’s normal, what’s not.” Mayo Clinic, https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/mental-health/art-20044098. Accessed 4 May 2022.
“Neuroplasticity: Rewiring The Brain in 2022.” Declutter The Mind, 13 July 2021, https://declutterthemind.com/blog/neuroplasticity/. Accessed 5 May 2022.
“Online porn may feed sex addicts’ desire for new sexual images.” University of Cambridge, 23 November 2015, https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/online-porn-may-feed-sex-addicts-desire-for-new-sexual-images. Accessed 4 May 2022.
“Porn Increases Social Anxiety.” Dr. Trish Leigh, https://drtrishleigh.com/porn-increases-social-anxiety/. Accessed 4 May 2022.
“Pornography and depression: Is there a link?” Medical News Today, 4 November 2020, https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/pornography-and-depression. Accessed 4 May 2022.
“Quitting Porn Helped in My Fight Against Depression.” Fight the New Drug, 16 September 2021, https://fightthenewdrug.org/depression-disappeared-stopped-watching-porn/. Accessed 5 May 2022.
Serico, Chris. “’Have faith’: See Dwayne Johnson’s inspiring advice for people with depression.” TODAY, 17 November 2015, https://www.today.com/health/dwayne-rock-johnson-shares-inspiring-message-people-depression-t56586. Accessed 5 May 2022.
“The State of Mental Health in America.” Mental Health America, https://mhanational.org/issues/state-mental-health-america. Accessed 4 May 2022.
“Success Stories | NoFap®.” NoFap Forum, https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?forums/success-stories.24/. Accessed 5 May 2022.
Sutphen, April, and Randy Withers. “Is Porn Addiction Ruining Your Mental Health?” Blunt Therapy, 12 August 2021, https://www.blunt-therapy.com/porn-addiction/#What_is_Porn_Addiction. Accessed 4 May 2022.
Vahratian, Anjel. “Symptoms of Anxiety or Depressive Disorder and Use of Mental Health.” CDC, 2 April 2021, https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/70/wr/mm7013e2.htm. Accessed 4 May 2022.
Voon V, Mole TB, Banca P, Porter L, Morris L, Mitchell S, et al. (2014) Neural Correlates of Sexual Cue Reactivity in Individuals with and without Compulsive Sexual Behaviours. PLoS ONE 9(7): e102419. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0102419
Ward, Tom. “Why Men Are Turning To Porn As A Mental Health Coping Strategy.” menshealth.com, 11 11 2020, https://www.menshealth.com/uk/mental-strength/a34640211/men-porn-addiction-male-loneliness/. Accessed 2022.
“What is Betrayal Trauma.” Dr. Jill Manning, https://drjillmanning.com/betrayal-trauma/. Accessed 5 May 2022.
“What Is Mental Health? | MentalHealth.gov.” Mental Health.gov, 28 February 2022, https://www.mentalhealth.gov/basics/what-is-mental-health. Accessed 4 May 2022.
Your Brain On Porn. “Studies linking porn use to poorer emotional health and poorer cognitive outcomes.” https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/relevant-research-and-articles-about-the-studies/porn-use-sex-addiction-studies/studies-linking-porn-use-to-poorer-mental-emotional-health-poorer-cognitive-outcomes/.
[…] income from porn. Most porn actors never make much money. In the long run, they also risk STDs and mental health […]